The rules of religion can feel confusing, and the ways in which people inconsistently engage with it can be really difficult for neurodivergent humans. You might have learned conflicting messages about how it’s not okay to have sex before marriage but then seen others at Church be praised or recognized despite doing so. Maybe you read the Bible word-for-word and took literally the sensory descriptions around hell, maybe you heard the question from pastors “are you sure you know where you are going today?”, and the uncertainty wasn’t something that felt safe to sit with because the stakes were too high, and so you learned to repeat prayers, to read until you felt “just right”, to try to mimic the things that others said you were supposed to feel, like closeness to an abstract being, and maybe you learned to believe that you were the problem, to always blame yourself.